GOODBYE TO PATTI, HOW DO YOU SPEAK TO THE PRETTIEST GIRL?
Things were winding down with stripper Patti Petite when she dropped a bombshell on me. At this point, everything was a bombshell with her. Flying me out to be with her and Marilyn Chambers. Her mom re-introducing her to cocaine. Being a child hooker. I can't honestly recall anything being simple- but the biggest shock was to come.
Patti towards the end of whatever it was we had, vanished for longer periods of time but would pop up to share wealth, cocaine and money. The bridge at Playboy was burned, and her mom had moved back to Chicago to help watch after her for the mob. I had discovered that many women had noticed the two of us together and were very curious about what Patti saw in me, so I found myself at the punk rock bar NEO and at the Blues Brothers bar cashing in on their curiosity.
One night she popped in and was not her usual sexy self. She was nervous and hesitant, something she never was before, and it wasn't drugs or booze.
"I have to go on trial", she said, "and I may have to go to jail".
My heart sank. But that comment, it would turn out wasn't the big bombshell.
"I was involved in a series of robberies, and we got caught with stolen goods and cocaine". A previous boyfriend and his girl gang had decided to go to Wheaton and do a series of home robberies in one day. That day happened to be Christmas, and they hit families away for church.
I was floored. No mention of this had happened before, and I for once had nothing to say.
Wheaton was dry at the time, very conservative and the last place to go on a crime spree in Illinois. And Christmas........ yeech.
She was involved in some complicated court nonsense, that involved her testifying against the guy, whom she was now living with. Are you following this? He would end up serving a year with time off, and I couldn't even follow it all. But she couldn't meet with the attorneys where they lived, so could she meet them at my place and pretend it was hers?
I said yes, and saw it as the way to end things with her.
The lawyers came, fell for it. She went to the trial, got off scott free and the guy- was back on the streets in months. I still don't know how they pulled that one off.
She called to tell me she was going off to California, to start a new life. I wished her well and was about to meet a woman who was as different from Patti as one could be.
A few months later Del showed up from the adult book store with a paper bag with two films in it. Films that she was on the cover of. She had become an instant star in the porn world. She spoke to me a few times on the phone to apologize to me "for everything", whatever that meant, and if you missed the prologue way back on page one how she ended up was either dead, legless or as a hair stylist. Her mom and her cocaine must have been proud.
Her mom did try to blackmail me at one point, threatening to tell my family that I had no contact with about Patti and I. I gave her a lawyers name I didn't know, and she never bothered me again. What a mom!
I felt I had been put through the ringer. I realized I had never had a real honest relationship with a woman up to that point, and wondered if I ever would.
and I saw a woman.
How Do You Speak To An Angel
A son who is cursed with a harridan mother
Or a weak simpering father at best
Is raised to play out the timeless classical motives
Of filial love and incest
How does he
Speak to a
How does he speak to the prettiest girl
How does he
Talk to her
What does he say for an opening line
What does he say if he's shy
What do you do with your pragmatic passions
With your classically neurotic style
How do you deal with your vague self-comprehensions
What do you do when you lie
How do you
Speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to her
How do you dance on the head of a pin
When you're on the outside looking in
How do you
Speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you
Speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
You just say - Hello, hello, hello Baby
LOU REED
She was tall, had a cleft chin (which I've always been a sucker for) was with a date and I spoke to her. She laughed, she was from the suburbs, and she was unforgettable. There was something nice about her, but her smile revealed a lustful side. She asked if she could have the olives in my drink and ate them, proclaiming her love of olives.
But she was with a date! He wasn't too happy and suggested they leave. I couldn't ask for her number in front of him and she walked out of my life and out of the bar. An hour later a pal would show up and ask if I wanted to go to the 950 Club and off we went. We walked in and I looked up and there she was.
I couldn't believe it. I walked over to her and there was no boyfriend in site. He was in the john. We exchanged numbers, and I promised I would call.
I didn't know it then, but I was about to learn the true meaning of love.
And I gave her my olives before her date returned!
